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I was age five when the bishop stood over me and said, "Stop babbling about what the priest did to you." Then, forty years later... I started babbling.
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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Pope Gets Tears in Eyes and It Makes Headlines? Try Living a Day in the Life of an Adult Victim of Pedophile Priest

Been reeling past few days and just realized: They are still reporting about the Pope getting tears in his eyes while meeting with pedophile priest victims in Malta Sunday.

Think of the how much crying goes on with parents whose sons and daughters committed suicide because they couldn’t live with the side effects of being among the Pope’s crime victims, or died young from living wrecless lives. Not making it to adulthood is one of many damages of pedophile priest rape.

Among the victims who are still alive, many live with our own unique internal chaos, the result of a clergy person messing with your sexual identity, in some cases violently, when you were still a child. I think of the strange conversations I’ve had that could only take place between survivors.

"No, I can't go to the trial. You know I can't go into New Orleans anymore, because, you know that's where my shit happened."

"I know, I get a panic attacks as soon as I get near El Segundo, in fact I can't be in L.A. at all, period."

Many of the adult victims have PTSD that plays out in days and weeks of depression, crying jags that can last hours to months. The skin tissue around my eyes is permanently damaged from too many episodes, something that other victims tell me, in conversations I've had doing City of Angels.

We live with days and weeks long crying jags, triggered by memories of being raped as children by Roman Catholic priests committing crimes that no justice system locally or internationally is equipped to prosecute. We live with days and weeks of crying because of what our behavioral problems, direct results of this sexually skewering experience, did to our personal, career, and family lives.

"I haven't gone out of the house for three months now."

"I need to see a dentist, but I can't sit in a dentist chair, so I just use a lot of mouthwash and brush and floss a lot, I can't sit that close to someone."

"Oh yeah, me too, that's why I also have to cut my own hair."

Since a child is growing, they are creating cells, a trauma like priest rape gets embedded in your very cellular structure. When you attack a child's sexuality, you are interfering with the very core of that person's being.

You are messing with a person's very soul.

Your sexuality drives you, it leads you in and out of almost every human experience.

You mess with a child sexually, you've skewered their sexuality for the rest of thier lives.

Skewered them at the level of their very being.

The Pope got tears in his eyes in Malta last Sunday, probably because he doesn't like having to confront the truth about these crimes.

I saw narcissism in those Pope tears last Sunday, not the tears of someone who genuinely cares about the victims of his own crimes.

"I've been crying so much there are broken blood vessels all around my eyes."

"I haven't gone out of the house for more than three months, I hope I'm okay by next February."

The Pedophile Priest epidemic was an institutional crime spree and coverup and the Pope has been at the top or very close to it for decades, directly connected to the investigations of these crimes since at least 2002.

What other organization would still claim world moral leadership after the crimes they committed?

We crime victims get to see these felons, our perpetrators, serial felons, still being treated as dignitaries whose public appearances are news events.

The Only news story the Pope deserves is coverage of his criminal trails. Then, let him cry as we make our victim impact statments.


Instead we get this, even today, 15 hours ago, more coverage of his f---ing tears.

Pope Gets Emotional On Meeting Sex Abuse Victims‎Oneindia - 15 hours ago
Pope Benedict XVI struggled to hold back tears, when he met sex abuse victims at the hands of paedophile priests in Malta

Pope meets abuse victims, expresses shame, sorrow for their suffering‎The Pilot - Carol Glatz - 1 day ago
One of the victims, Lawrence Grech, told the Maltese paper that the two bishops with them shed tears during their meeting. Another said the pope had tears ...

It's disgusting.

By Kay Ebeling, Producer, The City of Angels Is Everywhere

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